Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams..
 






Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
 



Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
 



Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
 



For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
 



How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.
 



What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...
 



Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
 



Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
 



Q: What is the thinnest book in the world? A: What Men Know About Women.
 



Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.
 



Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.
 



I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.
 



Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.
 



Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A:About 45 pounds!!
 



Q: Why was the leper caught speeding? A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
 



Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any. 1
 


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 God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...
 

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News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message.
 



Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
 



Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
 



First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
 



Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
 



I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
 



Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
 



Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
 



Why were males created before females? Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
 



Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
 



A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
 



What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.
 



I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
 



How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
 



Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
 



What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
 


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 What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.
Send to Fri

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
 

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  If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
 



All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the love that could be found in two, is less than what I feel for you.
 



We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!
 



Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.
 



 It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.
 



Girls r 70% beauty Girls r 75% sweet Girls r 85% naughty Girls r 90% cute Girls r 100% lovely totally 70+75+85+90+100= Girls are pakka 420. Be care full....
 



u have only 2 option in life {accept,or change}try 2 acceptwhat u cant change .try 2 changewhat u cant accept
 



3 options to break a mirror: 1. Throw stone on mirror…. 2. Take mirror and just drop it…. 3. U just go and stand before the mirror & SMILE.
 



FACT ONE:YOU CAN'T TOUCH ALL YOUR TEETH WITH YOUR TONGUE. FACT TWO: AFTER READING THIS SMS 99 OUT OF HUNDRED IDIOTS WOULD TRY IT
 



When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I am babe so I play with boys!!
 



Thought of the day: "if u help a gul when she is in prob, she will alwayz remember u only when she will be in prob again..!!"
 



Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
 



3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi, I’m Peter, not a saint. I’m Paul not a POPE. I’m John not a Baptist. The girl replied. Hi... I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.
 



Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
 



 Increase its size Stretch it more Exercise it more Bigger the better B'coz nothin looks better on ur face than THAT NAUTY SMILE
 



An in-depth study has shown that the bird flu virus hits the best chicks first. I thought I'd warn you immediately..
 






Women are like blue jeans, They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

Do u know whats A B C D E F G? A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ? Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again
 

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If u r stressed, you'll get pimples.. if u cry,u'll get wrinkles.. So, y don't u smile & get dimples?
 



Friendship is a network tht needs: no recharge! no roaming! no validity! no activation! no signal problems! juz dont switchoff ur Heart.!
 



Definition of a Nurse A young and beautiful woman who fingers u in all places n holds ur hand and then expects ur pulse to be normal
 



Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
 



"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."
 



A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
 



Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
 



Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
 



A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
 



A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!
 



Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
 



"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?" "Please wait someone else is using it."
 



Can v do romance in the evening today? I'm in a good mood Just a little bit of kissing and biting reply me soon! urs lovingly "MOSQUITO"
 



"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."
 



A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
 



Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
 





 Advice Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice: 99% Sound & 1% Advice....

Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
 



Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth
 



Dating process: 6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U. 6 months : Of course I love U. 6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
 



There is always a "DRIVE SLOW" board near boy's schools, but n ot near girl's college.. Why? COZ vehicles automatically go slow....
 



hey listen she asked me u r details...so i gave her u r cell number. so she will meet u soon.... her name is smile.... i think she came.
 



Why do men like smart women? Rare things are always sought after!!
 



A Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, but a Girl can makes him Stupid in 2 minutes.
 



Life Paradox what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring (wife)
 



"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me I just can't stop my hands shaking!" "Do you drink a lot?" "Not really - I spill most of it!"
 



U r the 1st thing that comes 2 my mind. I wish I could start my day with U in my bed. I jus luv ur feel to my lips. U just make my day, I love U NESCAFE!
 



A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me... But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position...
 



New style of proposing a girl: I have spent many sleepless nights in ur love, & I don't want my son to do the same 4 your daughter, So lets make them brother & sister.
 



Its difficult 2 understand GOD, He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives!
 



Court Order !! U R Accused of Crawling into my inbox & Hijacking My Smile with your cute massages. U R Sentenced 2b MY SWEET FRIEND 4 LIFE
 



Never think of the past It brings tears... If you think of the future It brings fears... So, live life in the present And drink chilled beers!
 



True Love is like a pillow U could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy Want True Love? Spend Rs50 BUY A PILLOW
 






Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!

 :-):-)
:-):-):-)
:-):-):-):-)
:-):-):-):-):-):-)
:-):-):-):-)
:-):-):-)
:-):-)

For You,

One For Each Hour.!
So That You Keep SMiLiNG 24 HOURS
 

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Heart Can Skip Beats 4 a While
Memories can be kept in a file
A desert can replace the Nile
But...
NOthing can stop a smile when ur name appears on my mobile.
 



Today I Gave some1 ur cell no.She will be visiting u soon. plz attend her properly. I asked to stay with you
forever. Her name is SMILE...
 



Keep the smile,
Leave the tear,
Think of joy,
Forget the fear ,
Hold the laugh,
Leave the pain,
Be jouyous till i sms again
 



Let me guess what U R doing...
Reading book?
Na Na!
Listining Music?
Uhu!
Watching TV?
Nah!
Caught U!
Missing me and reading my SMS na.!!
Oh now U R smiling.
 



Smile is a lnguage of Luv.
Smile is a way to get success,
Smile is to win the hearts.
Smile improves ur personality.
Brush daily.
 



Rose is Famous 4 Grace…
Advocate is Famous 4 his Case…
Horses r Famous 4 Race…
But u r Famous 4 Smile on Ur Face…!
have a nice day
 



Smile For The Ones You Love…
A Simple Smile Is All It Takes To Make One Happy…
Love Can Come In Many Different Ways, Shapes n Sizes …
But A Simple Smile Will Conquer Everything …
And Leave The Best Of Us Speechless …
 



In the morning,
sun gazes at me to make me happy…
Cool breeze hugs me to see my smile…
Birds sings to make me smile….
But my dear,
They dont know that
my smile is incomplete until
I remember your face…
 






 In our life
happiness is more important than smile
cause smile comes from lips
but happiness comes from the heart
so
BE HAPPY FOREVER

A sardar falls in luv wit a nurse.. After much thinking, he finally writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U SISTER"
 






Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
 



This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on ur name and didn't even tell me? Animal Planet!
 



Phonebook Dilemma Why r there no phone books in China? Coz there r so many Wing's and Wong's, they r afraid u will Wing the Wong number.
 



Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet! Santa: Why don't u cook something else. .
 



Galileo used 2 study in smal lamp. Graham Bell used 2 study in candle light. Shakspeare used 2 study in street light. Mujhe ye samajh nahi aata ke yeh sab Din Mein Kya Karte the?
 



Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi, jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola thoda pas ho k baith, ek sawari or baith sakti hai.
 



How True.. .A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min, a beer shortens your life by 4 minutes, a working day shortens your life by 8 hours!
 



True bravery is 2 arrive home…..fully drunk……a late night out…..& wife waiting with a jhadu and u ask: Hey abhi tak safai kar rahi ho?
 



Well, they do say opposites attract… So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured. Gud Day!
 



Two frinds,who hadn’t seen each other in several years, met on the street. 1st: Who are u working 4 now? 2nd: Same people, My wife & 4 children.
 



Raamnavami aanewali hai, isiliye hum apna man kewal Pooja, Arcahna, Sadhna, Aarti mein lagaana chahtey hain. So… aapke pados mein in mein se koi ho to bataao.
 



Mil Gaya, Oye Hoye Mil Gaya, Balle-Balle Mil Gaya, DHINCHAK DHINCHAK Mil Gaya, Apna Sara Kaam Chod Ke Fizool ka SMS Padnewala Ek aur…”BEWAKUF”Mil Gaya!
 



A women’s prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him and Patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I’ll beat him to death!
 



Dog is truly a man’s best friend. If you don’t believe it, just try this experiment: Lock your dog and your girlfriend in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
 



Aunty, mummy ne chini mangi hai. Aunty: Aacha aur kia kaha mummy nay? Kid: Agar woh kamini na de, to Pinki aunty se lay aana.
 






 Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life? Because, women don’t have a wife.

A genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!
 






Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet. Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.
 



How do u identify a true music lover? A man when hears a woman singing in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!
 



Two goldfish in a bowl talking: Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God? Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?
 



Telling a Lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor, and a matter of survival for a married man.
 



New Examination Patttern in India (Revised): General Students: Answer All questions OBC: Write Any One question SC: Only read questions ST: Thanks for coming. Cheers to Reservation
 



It’s wrong that Alcohol makes u fat… It doesn’t! It actually makes u LEAN… against bars, poles, walls, friends & strangers! Cheers!
 



Teacher class mein apne baby ko doodh pilate hue boli: Ale ale mela beta dudh p k doctor banega. Santa: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do hum compounder hi ban jaayenge.
 



Ek shrabi sadhu se takra gaya. Sadhu: Oh murkh, mein tuje shrap deta hoon… Sharabi: Ruko, me glass leke ata hoon.
 



How do u identify a true music lover? A man when he hears a woman singing in the bathroom and puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!
 



Ek Church k gate pe likha tha: Jo paap kar k thak gaye wo meri sharan me aaye. Ek callgirl ne niche apna mob no likh diya: Jo nahi thake wo meri sharan me aaye.
 



Ma: Beta ladoo Khayega? Beta: Nahin Mama: Chocolate? Beta: Nahin Mama: Khana? Beta: Nahin Mama: Marjana apne peo te Gud afternoon. Aap g de sare pariwar nu sunday di lakh-lakh wadhahi hove. Parmatma kare aap g de jeevan de har hafte da satwan din Sunday hove. Happy Sunday.
 



When somebody who’s deeply in love with you tells you that you’re cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That’s true, believe me, I swear because love is BLIND!
 



It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.
 



Sometimes you might catch me staring at you. It’s not because you are cute but bcoz my mom told me that devils have tails and I’m just wondering where’s yours?
 



Wife: I Have Changed My Mind. Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?
 



A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: Yes, I saw dad!
 






Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing? Clerk: Yes. Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u? 2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!

Why are Egyptian Children always confused? Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.
 




Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti hain? Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!
 



Everything about you is perfect – your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You’re lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.
 



First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
 



Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy!
 



Gud afternoon. Aap g de sare pariwar nu sunday di lakh-lakh wadhahi hove. Parmatma kare aap g de jeevan de har hafte da satwan din Sunday hove. Happy Sunday.
 



When somebody who’s deeply in love with you tells you that you’re cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That’s true, believe me, I swear because love is BLIND!
 



It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.
 



Sometimes you might catch me staring at you. It’s not because you are cute but bcoz my mom told me that devils have tails and I’m just wondering where’s yours?
 



Wife: I Have Changed My Mind. Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?
 



A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: Yes, I saw dad!
 



Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing? Clerk: Yes. Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u? 2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!
 



Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti hain? Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!
 



Why are Egyptian Children always confused? Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.
 



Everything about you is perfect – your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You’re lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.
 



First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
 






 Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy!

 Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? “Of course, why would Friday be an exception?”
 






A pregnant lady went to an astrologer. Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby’s father will die. Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!
 



At a party, someone yelled: All married guys plz stand next to one person who has made ur life worth living. The bartender was almost crushed to death.
 



Suraj ki pahli kiran aapko Khusi de… Dusri kiran hasi de… Teesri tandurasti… Chouthi kamyabi… Bas ab aur nahi garmi lagegi. Good Day.
 



Ek Gujju ka sapne mein kisi ne rape kar diya di. Next day Gujju ne apna Bank acccount band karwa diya kyon ki Bank mein likha tha: Hum aap k Sapno ko Haqeeqat mein badal denge.
 



Amitabh: Mere pas Gaadi he, Banglaw hai, Bank Balance hai, tumhare paas kya hai? Shashi: Mere paas bhi Gaadi hai, Bunglaw hai, Bank Balance hai… Silence for few Minutes… Amitabh: Abey to phir Maa kahana hai?
 



Q: What time is it when most people go to the dentist? A: Tooth-Hurty!
 



Buffalo par baithe ek jaat koTRAFFIC police ne rok k puchha: Aap ka helmet kahan hai? Fine lagega. Jaat: Re baawale, dhayan se dekh Neeche, 4 wheeler hai !
 



Baap: Beta maine tere liye ek ladki dekhi hai, Vo Roopvati, Gunvati, or Sarasvati hai. Beta: Lekin papa mein kisi or se pyar karta hoon or vo.. Garbhvati hai.
 



Gandhigiri ki safalta ke baad, pesh hai. Messagegiri jisme aap msg kare ya na kare, ham msg bhejte rahenge, kabhi to aapko sharm aayegi. Gud Day!
 



Height of Marwari Kanjusi: Looking for a second Hand Tata Nano Car…….preferably with Gas Kit!!!
 



Hasi ke liye gam kurban, khushi ke liye aansoo kurban, dost ke liye jan bhi kurban, agar dost ki girlfreind mil jaye to saala dost bhi kurban.
 



Doctor to Lady: U r looking so weak and exhausted ! Are U properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised ? Lady: Oh my God ! I heard 3 Males per day !
 



Doctor, cut off my dog’s tail. Vet: Why do u want to do that? Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us & I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcomed.
 



Most of my friends are normal, sane, cultured, decent, intellectual & well-behaved persons… Just wanna thank you for breaking the monotony!
 



Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin? Man: I’m goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking. Cop: Who’ll lecture at midnite? Man: My wife…
 



Grammar Teacher: Rahul sharaab Nahin Peeta Hai. Is sentence mein Rahul kya hai? Pappu: Madam! Rahul chutiya hai…
 


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 Valentine special: Dunyia wich reh k rangaa wich kho jao.. Kise nu apna bana lao ya kise da ho jao.. Je kuchh vi ni hunda taan….Chakko Rajaai te so jao.

 I Love You is 8 letters long. Then again, so is bullshit.
 






Q: Which type of Women wear Revealing Clothes? A: Those who don’t have Confidence in the Imaginative powers of Men!
 



Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business? Student: Father-in-Law!
 



Agar aap chahte hain k apke face pe dhool-mitii na lage to Roz subah lagaiye Asian Paints ka Apex Ultima jo dhool-mitti ko tikne na de!
 



What’s the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand? Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
 



Alcohol contain female hormones. Proof: Men gain weight, talk unnecessarily, become extra emotional & stupid, start fighting without any reason.
 



Advice of dentist. “Treat ur girl friend like a toothbrush. Don’t let any body else use it, and get a new one every three months.
 



Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai. Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai? Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai. Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali. Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
 



What building has the most stories? The Library.
 



A teenage boy to his father: Here’s my report card and a list I’ve compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished their High School.
 



Asmaan mai tum ho, samundar mai tum ho, zamin pe tum, hawa mai tum, jahan b dekho tum hi tum ho. DOMEX wali aunty thik kehti thi KITANU har jagah hote hain.
 



Girl announced her engagement to her father. Father: Does this fellow has any money? Girl: Oh! Dad, U men r all alike, thats exactly what he asked me about u!
 



Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!
 



If time doesn’t wait for you, don’t worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
 



Education is incomplete without 5 B’s B – Bikes B – Beers B – Babes B – Bunks and the most important B – Backlogs!
 



Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.
 



Why did Saddam Hussein attack Kuwait? He had an Arabic baby-sitter, who always used to say ‘Keep Quwait, Keep Quwait’.
 






 Tension happens in brain and love is felt in heart. Then why do people get heart attack when they are tensed and why people get mad when they are in love?

 Only once in your life u’ll get a right person with whom u’ll get married, so, till than keep enjoying with the wrong Ones! Gud Morning! Aap ye soch rahe honge ki Raat ko Gud Morning kaise? Simple! Phone mera, Paise mere, Msg mera, toh marzi bhi meri! Jo marzi aayega wo bhejunga.
 






Elephant falls in Luv with Ant, but Ant’s parents were against their marriage. Guess why? They gave a Solid Reason: Kehnde Munde de dand Bahar ne.
 



Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki main Raat nu aunga, ghar aaya te kisi hor de nal suti si. Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa, jede time nal sms nahi bhejde!
 



Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration! Janwaran di party chal rahi cee Chua 4 peg la ke set cee. Billi: J ajj party na hundi ta mai tenu ajj kha jandi. Chua: Ja tur ja saliye, loki kehan ge khadi piti wich janani kut diti.
 



I pray to God that any person who tries to fuck ur happiness, may his ass begin to itch & his hand grow shorter that he can’t reach his ass to scratch. Ek Tapori ki wife: Sunte ho ji, Apne chinku ne aaj pehla aadha shabd bola. Tapori: Achcha, Kya bola ? Wife: Behan…
 



He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die! Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, ‘Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta’ Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge. Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai!
 



10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidentsarer due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke! How 2 catch squirrels? It’s simple. Just climb a tree & sit, Squirrels will come in search of U… U know Y? Coz They Love NUTS!
 



Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok, but keeping a place for me in your mind mite be dangerous coz people say… I’m MIND BLOWING.
 



My Marriage is Fixed Surprisd? Dekho free di party da sun k kivein khush hunde ne.
 



Banta: How do you say Topless in Urdu? Santa: KHULE AAM…
 



The successful marriage depends on one simple equation: Wife having Beauty Secrets and husband having Secret Beauties.
 



There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking… is right. Good Day.
 



Tum sab dost meri zindagi ho, aur aur aur aur aur Lahnat hai aisi zindagi pe!
 



True relatives always stand behind u during bad times. Check ur marriage album. All ur relatives were standing behind u!
 



Commerce joke: Do u know y in a couple’s photo man is on the right side & woman on the left? Because as per balance sheet liabilities are on left side and assets on right!
 



Girl anounced her engagement. Father: Does this fellow have any money? Girl: Oh! Daddy, U men are all alike, that’s exactly what he asked me about you!
 






 Some translations in Punjabi: Yo baby! Wassup? Ve kaka, a uttey ki tangeya va? Listen buddy, dat chick is mine! O bhaoo, o nikki kukree meri aa ! R u nuts? Tu akhrot an oye? Rock the party. VATTEY mar jashan ch. Lets hangout! Aja bahar lamkiye.

Young Malkin & Pappu Naukar were kidnapped & raped by robbers. Malik to Naukar: Shakal Dekhi thi un logon ki? Pappu Naukar: Bibi ji se pucho mujhe to ulta litaya hua tha!
 






Daru se Nasha badhta hai, Nashe se junun. Junun se mehnat, Mehnat se paisa, Paise se izzat. Isliye Izzatdar wohi hai jo Daru pita hai !
 



Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha, asmaan me taro ka nazara tha, Bihari premi ne pyar se muskarate hue Biharan premika se kaha: Ae Susma, Bidi Piyegi ?
 



A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!
 



If u don’t have a gf/bf, don’t have a nice job, don’t like partying & dancing, just have a boring life, then don’t worry just log on to www.rabba chukk lay.com
 



A cute Nurse came 4 the interview. Dr: What salary U Xpect? Nurse: Rs.10,000. Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure. Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000
 



Which is the most confusing day in America? Thinking? Still thinking? Fathers day!
 



Om Namah Shinay! Jai Sri Ram! Wahe Guru! Jai Sri Krishna! Darr Mat, kisi ko forward nahin karna hai, khud hi jap le… PAAPI.
 



In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!
 



A Chinese couple Mr. & Mrs. Hua got twins without marriage. What did they name them?!!!? JO-hua, SO-hua
 



Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru We should learn to love our enemies- Mahathma Gandhi Dasso hun bapu di maniye ya chache di?
 



There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & GOOD _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking… Is right. Gud Day.
 



When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears flows from your eyes always say these words… Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…
 



Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kyo kehte hain? Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya to… PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE!
 



Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper Ultra. BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!
 



Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND ho. Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.
 



Gud looks catch the eyes, but gud personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! Flattered? Don’t Be! It was sent to me, and I just wanted you to read it.
 


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There was a man who never romped or played. He never smoked or drank, nor kissed a girl. And he passed away, insurance was denied. Since he had never lived, they claimed he never died. So live it up. CHEERS

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: Will you marry me? She replied: No! And the guy lived happily ever after.
 

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Daily Prayer: O GOD, give us strength & capacity to pay Income Tax, VAT, CST, Service Tax, Excise Duty, Octroi, TDS, ESI, FBT, Prop.Tax, Stamp Duty, CGT, Water Tax, Prof. Tax, Road Tax, Edu Cess, Congestion Levy & many more. Besides don’t forget Gunda Hafta, Bribes, Donations, Chanda, Beggers etc… If we have some time & money left after that, we will do some Business. Cheers to Booming Indian Economy! Gud Day!
 



Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied men! But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man…!!
 



All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
 



There’s a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is Over-Confidence.
 



What would confuse a mentally challenged person? Answer: A pineapple. Confused…? I knew you would be!
 



How to catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will come to you on their own. Because they just love NUTS !
 



A highly successful flirt was once asked: Which one is ur best gf? He replied: The next one! Always aim high n continuously improve ur performance.
 



The most interesting thing about this sms is that by the time you realize that nothing is written in it…. it would be too late for you to stop reading it!
 



Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian!
 



If I was a painter, u would be my painting. If I was an author, you would be my story. If I was a poet, you would be my poem. But unfortunately I am a psychiatrist.
 



Hi, keep messaging me and win exciting prizes: 3rd Prize: Lots of Luv. 2nd Prize:Longlasting friendship. 1st Priz: Free stay for Lifetime in my heart.
 



No matter how high the sky is, how deep the ocean is, how strong the wind is, how wide the river is, I just wanna tell u… it’s none of ur business.
 



Ladies….it is okay to wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.
 



Well, they do say opposite attracts… So I sincerely ‘hope’ you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cuultured.
 



A teenage boy to his father: Here’s my report card and a list I’ve compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished high school.
 



In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36
 





Miss U Miss U sab kahein, par actually miss kare na koi. Agar koi kisiko miss kare to fir SMS band kyun hoye!

A Law Professor asks a Student: Which is the most imp LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business? The Student replies: Father-in-Law
 

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A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with bread & water. Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Salakhen! My God! I’ve killed the motorist.
 



M_rkh, St_pid, B_dh_, D_ffer, Bewak_f, Ghoch _, _ll_, Bhondu_, dekha… Everything is incomplete without ‘U’
 



As u face a brand new day, bow ur head & say this prayer: Thank u Lord for having this amazingly gud luking sender. May his smartness increases everyday.
 



A good friend comes 2 visit u in the hospital with flowers n goes. A True friend sits near u n says: O yaar, nurse bahut sunder hai… aaram se theek hona!
 



Q: Where do Indian batsmen perform their best? A: In advertisements.
 



Q: What is the Indian version of a hat-trick? A: 3 runs in 3 balls.
 



Q: What is the height of optimism? A: Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
 



What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen? The walk back to the pavilion.
 



Someone has kidnapped the Indian cricket team and demanded Rs 50 crore or else he would burn them with kerosene. Please donate. I have already donated 25 litres.
 



Feeling bored? Wondering, what to do? Open the zip! Enter your hands in between your zip… take out your… book from your bag and study!
 



Wat a RIP OFF! I saw a book in the store titled: 37 Mating Positions. I took it home, sat in my room,opend it. Damn it…It was a book on CHESS!
 



Today if anyone praises U for ur beauty, nature, style, attitude… kick them… How dare they fool U before APRIL 1st.
 



Aisa hai pyar humara, main kishti tu kinara, mai dhanush tu teer mai matar tu paneer, mai barish tu badal, mai rajmah tu chawal, mai hot tu cool, main April tu Fool…ha ha ha!!
 



Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great, I know this is too much for u, so here is a shortcut – Just think about ME!
 



Do u remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, u put ur face out, then people started shouting ‘TWINS TWINS’
 



Tip to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, after marriage drink only on days when u r Happy!
 






 Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara? Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.

 Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han” Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?
 

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Kunwaro se log puchte hai ki tumhari ab tak shaadi kyon nahi huye? Kunware bhi jor se kahte hai: Jaako rakhe sayeean mar sake na koi.
 



Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!
 



Dear reciever, I’m a Blonde Virus. I’m not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !
 



Ladkewaale: Ladki ka naam kya hai? Ladkiwaale: Hamari pyari, aapki pyaari sabki pyari, Rampyari. Ladke ka naam kya hai. Ladkewale: Hamara Gu, aapka Gu, ham sabka gu JAGGU
 



Log kehte hain ki khuda ne aapko badi fursat mein banaaya hai… Theek hi kehte hain, faltoo kaam fursat mein hi to kiye jaate hain.
 



Colour of ur underwear reflects ur mood: Red: Wild Black: Sexy Blue: Romantic Pink: Seductive White: Calm Yellow: Time to change it…
 



Everyday same wishes! Are U bored of it? Let it be difft this time: Let the devils sing around U, Mummies dance around u, Vampires sit beside U. Have a horrible day!
 



Ek c Raja… Ek c Rani… Dono mar gaye khatam kahani. . . . . . Na thalle hun ki dead body labni hai?
 



Meaning of ABCDEFG : A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls. Reverse the letters GFEDCBA Girls Forget Everything Done & Catch new Bakra Again
 



Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai, sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?
 



Height of Kanjoosi: A Bania’s house has caught fire & he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade!
 



A Baniya walking on the road suddenly bent & touched d road n said furiously: ‘Loki thuk vi aewein sutde ne jiven Rupeya peya hove!’
 



A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !
 



What did the Zero say to the Eight? Nice Belt
 



Saif: My dil goes hmmmmmm…! My dil goes hmmmmmmm….! My dil goes mmmmmmMMm……!! My dil goes mmmmmmm…..! Javed Jafri: Is this da dils or da makhis…?
 



Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain! Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge? Boy: Bilkul nahi! Gal: To phir rehne do…
 






 A lady to another lady: Jab tera divorce hua tha tab to ek hi baccha tha aur ab 3 kaise? She says: Woh kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the…

Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.
 

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Tabiyat thik nahi thi. Tantrik ko dikhaya, Tantrik bola bhoot ka saya hai, kisi ghor paapi ko SMS karo theek ho jaoge… Ab accha mahsus kar raha hoon.
 



Javed Jaffery proposing a girl: Hi, the babes, here is mys parpoz, with this d reds rose. Plz don’t u d rejects my parpoz b’coz I don’t parpoz d ROZ ROZ!
 



If U Don’t Eat Junk food, Don’t Smoke, Don’t Drink, Don’t Have boy Friend/Gal Friend, Don’t Play Cards, No Late Nights; Then Visit Our site: www.PaidaKyunHuethe.com
 



Another Moon?… Possible Another Sun?… Possible Another Sky?… Possible Another person Like U?… Impossible ‘Coz God can’t make the same Mistake twice.
 



 I’m leaving India! Actually Aishwarya is pregnant and media is suspecting me. Tum bhi nikal lo, uski kaam wali bhi pregnant hai.
 



Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye? Circuit: Simple bhai… Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!
 



 It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let’s Thank… KAAMWALI
 



Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ? Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon. Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.
 



Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to. Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega.
 



Boy: I’m not rich like Rahul, I don’t even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U! Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.
 



Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai? Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!
 



Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo. Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
 



An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha? Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.
 



Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when a woman becomes naughty…. she becomes rich.
 



A lady is standing on top of the hill n she is going to push her father down. So what’s the name of the lady? Push……Paa.
 



Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when best things in life we do naked.
 






Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla totti aata hai, khane ko man nahin karta hai. Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana

 Boy: Tum gaana bahut achcha aato ho. Gal: Nahin, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon. Boy: To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain.
 

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Biscuit maker’s Luv Letter: Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day, our meeting was truely Nice, but the chance of our Luv is 50-50 coz ur dad is a Tiger. Will u give ur Littlr Heart 2 me? Otherwise I’ll become a Krack-Jack
 



Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai? Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir. Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.
 



Girls Psychology – Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy
 



When I send SMS to u, it doesn’t mean that u have to do the same… U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.
 



Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge? A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA – Connecting pipal.
 



Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade… ya phir bus aap pe chade… dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai
 



Rabba dukh na devin yaar mere nu, saanu chahe dukhan da pahaar de de, Phire nawe HERO JET cycle utte yaar mera, saanu bhaven purani Mercedes car de de
 



Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA Phir likha: SHUBH LABH Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN
 



Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta. He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga
 



J kade tera kalle da paga 10 bandeyan naal pai jaave ta mainu sad layin, main kade kisi nu kut paindi nahin dekhi !
 



Kuri waley Munde nu: Tusi nonveg khandey ho? Munda: Haan Sharaab? Haan Drugs? Haan Jua? Haan Sab kuch negative hai, kuch positive ve hai? Munda: Haanji, HIV+
 



Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile
 



Gabbar: Kitne admi they? Sambha: Sardar 2 Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain? Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai Gabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle? Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai. Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai? Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata> Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate? Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai. Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai? Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai. Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai? Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do
 



Plz pass this SMS to all ur friends. A person urgently needs 3 bottles of…. . . . . . . . Foster beer (chilled) with chips. It’s urgent Cell no & name is as displayed
 



People who do lots of work…make lots of mistakes, People who do less work…make less mistakes, People who do no work…make no mistakes, People who make no mistakes…get promoted.
 






What is the height of Flirting? It’s When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

Kya hoga agar Pepsodent waale condom banaye to…?? Hona kya hai? Raat bhar Dishum, dishum…!
 

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Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai? Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss. Girl: Aur us dress ka? Shopkeeper: 10 kiss. Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.
 



Ganguly’s Son: Yeh Kya, Daddy Sixer pe Sixer maare jaa rahe hain Hain? Ganguly’s Wife: Arey beta, yeh toh ADVERTISEMENT Hai !
 



U luv sumone… u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id…!
 



 Kudi waale pandit nu: Saanu aheja munda chahida jehra kuj khanda penda na howe. Pandit: Aheja munda taan PGI Emergency ward ch hi mil sakda hai.
 



Ravan ki 20 aankhein thi magar nazar sirf ek aurat pe; jab ki aapki 2 aankhein aur nazar har aurat pe…! Toh asli Ravan kaun??
 



Ab tak meri life ek khuli botal thi, jis mein se sab perfume ki tarah ud jata tha. Par aap ke aane se sab kuch ruk gaya. Bhagwan kare aap jaisa DHAKKAN sabko miley
 



Baniye ki wife bimaar thi, light na hone ki wajah se usne candle jala di aur bola: Doc ko lene jaa raha hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to plz candle bujha dena
 



A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: Yes, I saw dad.
 



A friend is: Who lends you… Pen in School…
 



In French: Bon jour In Spanish: Te Quiro In Italian: Teamo In Yugoslav: Volim Te In English: Good Morning In Punjabi: Uth Moya Kam te nahi jana?
 



Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper? A: Because they need a map.
 



An old to Doc: Doc, I think I’m getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up. Doc: That’s not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.
 



Astrologer: U’ll meet a young gal who wanna everything about u. Frog: When n where? Astrologer: Next semester in Biology lab
 



Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath… Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya ho
 



Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi? Beti: Kuch nahin… Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi… aur kya? Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.
 



Teacher to class: A for? Class: Apple Teacher: Jor Se Bolo Class: Jai Mata Di
 






Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday…

Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein. Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge. Kisi aur ko mat batana. Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai
 






Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls? Both don’t exist.
 



Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above… So always Brush ur Teeth
 



It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS
 



Teri awaz sunne ko jab taras jata hoon, to ghisa pita cd player chala leta hoon. Teri surat ko jab taras jaata hoon, to cartoon network laga leta hoon. Waqt hona chaiye kisi ko yaad karne ke liye, bahane to apne aap hi mil jate hain
 



Red Rose: Luv Yelloe Rose: Friendship White Rose: Peace Which Rose for u? Nima Rose. Tan ki Durgandh Dur Kare, De Taazgi
 



Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai, aaj nahin aaya, kaha na kabhi kabhi aata hai
 



Thought for the future generation: Don’t marry & make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor & make several women happy.
 



Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
 



U r thousands of miles away from me, still I’m watching ur every movement on 3 difft channels: Pogo, Cartoon network & Animal planet. Thnx to media
 



Santa: Tommy ne meri saari kitaab kha layi Mother: Ohnu mere kole leke aa mein usnu saja dewan Santa: Saja ta mein de diti, usdi kauli wala dudh mein pee gaya
 



Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment… warm b’coz AC doesn’t work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50
 



Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children? The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more
 



A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three year old, “If you pretend you’re asleep, he stops.”
 



A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper. Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper? French: Toilette pepper!
 



Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year! Bush: Wow! Howc many? Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut
 



Girl’s excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n very clear