My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...
 

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News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message.
 



Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
 



Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
 



First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
 



Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
 



I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
 



Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
 



Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
 



Why were males created before females? Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
 



Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
 



A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
 



What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.
 



I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
 



How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
 



Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
 



What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
 


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 What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.
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